The Dax Files

Many years ago, a close friend and mentor warned me about marketing majors. “Beware of Marketing Majors Dax, they are evil and twist reality,” he would say. I didn’t understand. I don’t think I really understood what marketing was, much less what a “Major” was. Well, now I have a more fully developed understanding. And Yes, Marketers are evil. I probably have written about their evil ways before, and I’m sure some future evilness will grace these web pages again. However, the latest twisting that has my panties all in a bunch involves…Yogurt.

I realize yogurt isn’t all that exciting. Hell, its fuckin’ yogurt, a mess of spoiled milk in a plastic cup. I guess it would take a hell of a lot of marketing to sell that shit. Anyway, Dannon certainly has done their job. They took an unknown dairy product and turned it into a cottage cheese industry. Now they have taken it a step further. Their marketing department is really into overdrive.
I was hanging out watching television. When I first saw the Dannon commercials I didn’t think a thing about it. That’s how marketing works, innocuous at first, then after the one hundredth showing, their evil message starts to slip in to the ol’ grey matter. I don’t know which commercial I noticed first, Dan Active or Activia. One is marketed as a product to aid the immune system and the other is marketed as an aid to the digestive tract.

Normally, I wouldn’t care or even notice. However, the one ingredient that makes yogurt beneficial to the human body is active yogurt cultures. That’s healthy bacteria that give yogurt its healthful benefits. That’s the stuff that helps Old Russian women live to over one hundred years old. At least that’s what the commercial says. Anyway, what set me off about all this marketing is Dannon’s naming of these beneficial bacteria.

I’m not an expert on Latin but bacterium called Bifidus Regularis leads me to believe the bacteria will keep me regular. What the fuck is that about? It’s the same bacteria isn’t it? Then there is L. casei Immunitas. It is the same story just marketed to help the immune system. I guess my Latin isn’t all that bad after all. From the website, “L. casei Immunitas™ (scientifically known as L. casei strain DN-114-001) is the marketing name of the natural probiotic culture: a living microorganism which upon ingestion in sufficient numbers exerts health benefits beyond basic nutrition.” Emphasis added. Trademarked marketing name…Christ on a cracker! That shit chaps my ass!

I like yogurt. I like Dannon yogurt too, just the regular ordinary yogurt with the normal sounding bacteria. I don’t need any pseudo-scientific hyper-marketed named bacteria to enhance my yogurt eating experience.

Just Damn!

I haven’t posted in so long it seems that I might have forgotten how. I also know that it will be another little while before I post again…

Health

The Montana’s are doing just fine…well except for the fact that I broke a tooth so badly that it can’t be salvaged. The dentist said that “no matter how much money I spent, a root canal and crown won’t save the tooth.” I was going to tell the sadistic bastard to pull the fucker any way. Thursday, I go under the drill.

School

It’s spring break right now! I’d love to tell you that I’m posting from “Senior Frog’s” in Cancun, but that shit ain’t gonna fly. I’d love to be out partying down with my college brethren about now. However, they’d just think that I was some creepy old guy.
Anyway, school is kicking my ass this semester, actually only one class…”Policy.” It’s not that it is hard. It just happens late in the day…2:20pm-3:45pm. After working all night and then sitting in class from 8:00am. I’m pretty much toast by the time that last class rolls around. Fortunately, I only have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It’s kind of fucked up that they only offer my major classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and only in the spring semester. Basically, it’s take these classes or don’t graduate until next year.

Work

Work has been very interesting in a stressful way. A portion of my factory’s business is related to the Automotive industry. If you weren’t aware, American Axle is on strike…which in turn shut down 29 GM plants and Chrysler plants too.
20 temporary employees were fired“re-assigned” last Friday. I no longer make units either. I was transferred to another department. I now work with polymers. Actually, I think I have made a few friends in “high” places. I’d like to think that my reassignment to a “safer” department was made to keep me around. I have the seniority of a sand gnat at the plant. If full time workers are laid off…I’m sure to go….Not so fast…I’m in a critical department now.
It’s all speculation at this point. Who knows! With my luck, I’m gonna get fucked over.

Misc.

St. Patrick’s Day marked two years nicotine free…It seems like only yesterday. I like not being a smoker, which is different from being a non-smoker. I still refuse to become a smoke Nazi. Just quit…it ain’t that hard.
Beware the Ides of March…From Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. With all that is going on at work, I just knew I was going to get the hammer. The Ides of March did hammer 20 people though.

Baby Dax

Damn! The litter fucker is 21 months or close to 2 years old now. He is trying so hard to talk. He gets a few “almost” words out.

So, I guess that’s a little bit of everything.

Just Damn!

Sometimes the old shows are the best. Notice the use of vocabulary. This sure ain’t “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”

Just Damn!

Just a few ideas to develop a more well rounded child….Maybe?

5 dangerous things you should let your kids do.

Just Damn!

…A child was born. Happy Birthday.

in an unrelated subject…Carl Sagan Explains The Fourth Dimension

Just Damn!

I was wandering around Rite-Aid this afternoon. I was trying to work up enough nerve to by that pack of condoms. Well, not really. Remember when that was like a huge deal? Those were the good ol’ days…before AIDS. Anyway, during my wanderings through aisles and aisles of heath and beauty supplies, I ended up in the hair care section.

Years ago, I dated a girl who really freaked me out about shampoo buying. You know you are just about as good as “in her pants” when she takes you on one of those personal hygiene shopping trips. Anyway, she would crack the flip top open and sniff the shampoo. I was shocked and appalled and frankly I felt a little dirty as I first watched, then actively participated in the sniffing. Damn that was such a rush!

Remember, my generation was the first with “child-proof” caps, safety seals, and I was fresh off the Tylenol Scare of the eighties. So breaking into the flip top of the sweet smelling soapy goodness was like product tampering in my mind. I have found out over the years that the sniffing of shampoo to see “if it makes my hair smell good” technique is actually common practice. Oh that wacky world of woman!

So here I am among the rows and rows of shampoo bottles. There were green ones and white ones, striped ones, and even clear ones. Bottles of 4oz, 10oz, and large economy sizes too. I saw one with some fruit on the label. It looked like one of those fruity tropical drinks with lots of booze in it.

I picked up that bottle, looked to the left, looked to the right, and then when I felt the coast was clear…I popped the top off and took a deep sniff. I inhaled those toxic fragrant fumes. The mix of adrenalin and fruity fumes sent me reeling. It was like holding in that smoke from the three-foot bong back in the day. Ok that was obviously an exaggeration; it wasn’t anywhere near as good as tasty bong hits. However, the covert act of sniffing shampoo was a rush!

When the high wore off, I put the bottle down and proceeded to purchase my 24-pack of Trojans…I mean the Preparation H. My how times have changed.

Just Damn!

This song has floated around the internet and Blog world for a while now…it seems that it is always mis-credited.

Now it is a video…

Just Damn!

What song is this?

Nmad Tsuj

What a way to start off 2008…

Happy New Year everyone!

Just Damn!